Effective Communication among All Players

Effective Communication among All Players

by: Magda Elkadi Saleh

Introduction

Having worked now in an Islamic school for nine years, I have found that, in our organization, as in most other Islamic schools and organizations, many problems arise due to poor communication among and between members of these schools and organizations. Many times this problem of poor communication arises from the fact that the make-up of the staffs in these organizations is very diverse, and each culture has its own way of communicating, if it is even used to communicating its feelings and ideas. Other times, the problem of communication arises from the misconception that "if I understand what it is I'm saying, everyone should understand." Unfortunately, each person in the organization may have a different perception of what is going on, and such assumptions cannot be made. What I have found is that if we follow the basic guidelines for communication as they have been made clear to us in Islam, over 90% of our problems can be avoided.

Of course, as we discuss "Effective Communication" as it relates to Islamic schools, we must include not only the staff-members, but the parents, students and community-members as well.

Discussion of the Title

In order to discuss the topic of "Effective Communication among All Players in the Education Process," we must first understand the meaning of each part of the topic. All definitions that I have listed below come from the Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary, 10th Edition.

Effective: Producing a decided, decisive or desired effect. [All three words are keys to the success of our schools.]

Communication: A process by which information is exchanged between [or among] individuals through a common system of symbols [language], signs or behavior.

Among: Through the reciprocal acts of; through the joint action of.

All: Every member or individual component.

Players: Those people actively involved in a process.

Education: The action or process of being educated. Educate: to train by formal instruction and supervised practice; to develop mentally, morally or aesthetically by instruction; to provide with information; to persuade or condition to feel, believe or act in a certain way [as a Muslim].

Process: A natural phenomenon marked by gradual changes that lead toward a particular result; a series of actions or operations conducing to an end.

From these definitions, we see that we are trying to determine the best way for every member of the educational process (parents, students, teachers and administrators) to interact in such a way as to achieve an agreed-upon goal. This goal can only be reached gradually, in steps, and requires the efforts of all people involved. We as educators truly hold an invaluable and inviolable trust from Allah.

Islamic Guidelines for Effective Communication

Subhan'Allah, while we always encourage each other to stay on top of the latest research and information and to delve into proven methods in the field of education, we need look only to Islam for the basic guidelines for effective communication. Examples of effective communication techniques can be found in the Qur'an and in the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad SAWS.
Administrator - Employees
Too often, administrators see themselves in the position where they must give information to their staff-members. They feel that they see the whole picture and must tell the staff-members what to do, often without any explanation as to why they are giving the specified instruction and without leaving the door open for discussion or questioning.

In Suratul Baqara, 30-34, when Allah SWT is speaking to the angels regarding the creation of Adam 'alayhi-s-salaam, He says: "I will create a vicegerent on earth." The angels questioned His judgement in creating a man and, as most administrators would say, He said, "I know what you know not." However, unlike many administrators, He did not admonish them or get angry with them, and He did not leave it at that. He proceeded to teach Adam, and He had Adam display what he had learned in front of the Angels, for them to see that what He had created was a being that knew more than they. He then commanded them to bow to Adam, thereby showing them their position in regards to him.

We, of course, cannot compare ourselves to Allah SWT. But if He, in His ultimate power and authority, He who needs not ask anyone for permission to do anything nor owes anybody any explanations, could show patience and teach by example the angels, who had no right to question His decision, should administrators not be able to do the same with their staff-members?

Too often, administrators may become agitated if their decision or judgment is questioned. Too often, a change is put into place or a new staff-member is hired without clear instruction from the administrator as to how this change or this new staff-member is to be treated. Staff-members are left asking:
What exactly does he/she expect us to do regarding this new change? How are we to implement it?
What type of authority does this new staff-member have over us, or do we have over him/her?
Explaining our actions and decisions does not imply that we are at a lower level on the hierarchy of authority, it only means that we wish for all of those around us to have a clear understanding of what is happening and of what is expected. When understanding exists, people are much more likely to comply with what is requested of them, thereby producing a much more effective and efficient system.
Teacher [Parent] - Students
The relationship between teacher and student is often like that between administrator and teacher, even though the teacher may understand that his/her role is to teach; administrators may feel their role is to lead and not so much to teach. The two - leading and teaching - go hand in hand.

One of the greatest examples of a positive teacher-student interaction is that which took place between Allah SWT and Ibraheem 'alayhi-s-salaam. In Suratul Baqarah, ayah 260, Ibraheem questions Allah's ability to give life to the dead. Allah's response was, "Do you not believe?" To which Ibraheem responded, "Yea, but to satisfy my own heart." At which point, Allah gave Ibraheem a demonstration to satisfy his heart.

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How often do teachers respond to a student's persistent questioning, "That's it. I told you that's how it happens. Just look in the book. See…it says exactly what I told you." At this point the student shuts down and is much less likely to ask questions in the future. Communication has been destroyed. Learning has not occurred.

The student is not asking the questions in doubt of the teacher's word. Allah created us all with a questioning mind, and teachers should always be prepared to provide further explanations or demonstrations to satisfy the minds of their students.

Again, Allah, in His ultimate power, was not obligated to offer Ibraheem any explanation. However, without the explanation, He would not have been communicating; He would not have been educating. It is only when we understand what is happening around us that we truly learn.

There are so many other examples of Allah's methods of communication with the Prophets, either directly or through Gibreel, 'alayhi-s-salaam: When Allah spoke to Musa, 'alayhi-s-saalaam, in the desert and instructed him not to be afraid; instructed him how to approach Pharoun; etc. He did not stop at simply saying: "Do not be afraid," or ordering him what to do. He continued by instructing Musa and by answering his prayers for support. [Surat Taha, Ayahs 9-36; Suratul Qasas, Ayahs 29-35]

When Gibreel revealed to Muhammad SAWS the first verses of Qur'an: "Iqra' bismi rabbika-l-lathi khalaq." Gibreel did not simply give the instruction and leave. Through him, Allah proceeded to explain to Muhammad SAWS who He was and what He had taught mankind. Throughout the revelation, Muhammad SAWS was protesting, "Ma 'ana bi qaari'" At no point did Gibreel say, "Stop interrupting me;" or "Why do you keep asking the same question? Why don't you understand?" Instead, with each protestation, he offered more and clearer explanation.

If parents and teachers are to reach their desired goals of educating and guiding their children and students, they must be more willing to offer clear, valid explanations. And, if the first explanation does not clarify the issue with the child/student, a different approach must be tried, until understanding is achieved. Our goal is not to produce children who can regurgitate information, but to communicate with them in order to produce thinking, caring, patient Muslims.

Always remember, the natural result of teaching is learning. If you give a lesson, but the students have not learned, then you have not taught.
Teachers/Administrators - Parents [Community Members]

We may assume, since we are in the teaching profession or in the business of education, which we know more than our parents and community members. Most often, at least in matters of education, we do know more. However, that does not give us permission to talk down to parents/community-members or to simply instruct them without allowing them a chance to interact with us.

The ways of the Prophet Muhammad SAWS in communicating with, and thereby educating, his people provide an excellent guide for us in communicating with our peers, our parents and our community members [including children]. One of the best references that I have found describing his manners is the book "Al-Raheeq Al-Makhtum."

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The Prophet SAWS always spoke in a mild, even, clear tone with the utmost respect towards the young and the old, the believers and the disbelievers. His words were carefully chosen, his dialect the one understood by the person he was addressing. Those to whom he spoke were always made to feel that they were the most important people in his life. When they responded to him or approached him, he gave them his undivided attention. He did not stare in their faces, but kept his gaze lowered at most times. He did not admonish people, nor did he use harsh words while speaking. He stressed the positive and never addressed someone's negative qualities or actions in the presence of others.

Children-Adults

One of the most well-known examples of the way children can teach adults through positive communication is the story of the children, at the time of the Prophet SAWS, who witnessed an older man making wuduu' improperly. Instead of embarrassing him by telling him he was making a mistake, they pretended to make wuduu' improperly, thereby jogging his memory and letting him see that he had made a mistake.

As educators, we need to educate our students in the proper methods and means of communication with each other and with their elders. We must re-enforce to them that it is not improper to correct adults; there is simply a right and a wrong way of going about it. Once we teach them the proper way, we must re-enforce their positive behavior by reacting in a positive manner. How often does it happen that a student will raise his hand and say, "Sr./Br. ____, you didn't add that right on the board." And the teacher responds, "Please, just do it the way I showed you," and proceeds with the incorrect work on the board. Now, at this point, there could be two different possibilities: The teacher is correct and the student is not; the teacher has made a mistake, and the student has caught it. In either case, the teacher needs to respond positively, in order to show the student that his/her observations are appreciated.

The teacher can very simply say, "Let's look at this again," and show the student how the answer was derived. If the original answer was correct, the teacher should try to ensure that the student understands why it was correct. If the original answer was incorrect, the student should be praised for being attentive.
Remember, we all make mistakes, and we all must be willing to learn from each other if we are to grow as Muslims.

Effective Communication Techniques

1. Always keep your goal in mind.
   1. What is the message that you are trying to get across?
   2. What are you hoping to accomplish through your communication (written or oral)?
2. Always keep your message clear, simple and to the point. Assume that the person you addressing has no previous knowledge of what you are talking about.
   1. Are you using words that most people wouldn't understand simply to impress people?
   2. Do you state your message clearly from the beginning, or are you beating around the proverbial bush?
3. Always use the proper tone of voice.
   1. Is your tone friendly or are people threatened by it?
   2. Are you speaking in a low or high tone? Remember, people you are communicating with will respond in whatever tone you are using: If your tone begins to escalate, the tone of the person you are speaking to/communicating with will escalate. On the other hand, if you are in a situation where the person speaking to you is yelling, if you lower your voice, you will find that their tone will soften to meet yours.
4. Always choose your words carefully.
   1. In our schools and organizations, we deal with people from very diverse backgrounds. Try to be sensitive to the words you choose. Could they be offensive in any way?
5. Always be aware of your body language.
   1. Are you relaxed during the conversation? Do others feel comfortable in your presence?
   2. Are your arms crossed and brows tight? Do others feel tense in your presence?
   3. Are you constantly glancing at your watch/clock, giving off a feeling of impatience?
   4. Are you smiling kindly, or are you grim?

Communication must be multi-directional and cannot only go from the person in authority to the ones he/she has authority over. There must be an opportunity for a mutual exchange of ideas and input.

"If I say something, but nobody understands, then I have not communicated!"

Communication Pathways: Multi-Directional & Inter-Related